Father Wound…

How the Father Wound Lives in Our Lives:

"What we do not face in ourselves we project onto others, often in destructive ways."

— James Hollis (Under Saturn’s Shadow: The Wounding and Healing of Men)

The father wound is the deep emotional and psychological trauma that results from an absent, abusive, critical, or emotionally unavailable father figure. This wound can form when a father fails to provide safety, love, affirmation, or guidance, leaving a child with unmet emotional needs that often persist into adulthood.

Repressing the father wound does not make it disappear; instead, it surfaces in unconscious ways, shaping self-worth, relationships, and behaviors. Many adults with a father wound struggle with low self-esteem, chronic self-doubt, or an overwhelming need for external validation. Men may find it difficult to embrace healthy masculinity, oscillating between aggression and passivity, while women may unconsciously seek fatherly approval in romantic relationships, often attracting emotionally unavailable partners.

This unresolved trauma can also manifest in perfectionism, workaholism, or an inability to trust and connect deeply with others. Repressed pain often fuels anger, resentment, or emotional numbness, creating cycles of dysfunction that repeat across generations.

Healing the father wound requires conscious inner work—acknowledging the pain, grieving the loss, and re-parenting the wounded inner child. Jungian Active Imagination, shadow work, and somatic trauma release can help individuals reconnect with their inner father archetype, fostering self-acceptance and emotional wholeness.